All my life
by 1029
Summary: JJ and Hotch have a shared past that follows them through their lives at the BAU.
1. Prologue

**_So this is my first full length story. I'm going to try and have it follow the show the best that I can and I hope you guys like it. I love JJ and Hotch and I really wish they would have ended up together._**

**_I don't own Criminal Minds._**

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**If you are not too long, I will wait for you all my life**

**- Oscar Wilde**

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2012:

Hotch ran faster than he ever had in his entire life. This was his last chance. His last chance to prove to her that he loved her more than any other woman in the entire world and he was not about to let her walk down that aisle without her knowing it.

Rossi's mansion had a lot of rooms in it and Hotch went floor to floor room to room trying to find the one that she was in. He finally reached her on the 3rd floor. He flung open the door and saw her sitting in a stool with her wedding dress on while her mom pinned her hair behind her head. She turned and looked at him, like she knew he would come through that door. She gave him a sad smile and nodded her head no.

It was in that moment that Aaron Hotchner knew that he was too late, everything he had put her through the last twelve years was finally catching up to him, but he would be dammed in he was not going to fight it. He just had to convince her that she was making a mistake.

* * *

Marrying Will would be good for JJ. He was a decent man, with a decent job, and was the father of her child. She could not do much better than that, at least that was what her mother said, and JJ had to agree. All she really needed was a decent life and Will would give that to her.

She heard someone run into the room and she knew exactly who it was without even bothering to turn around. She did not understand why he still bothered, he had a girlfriend now, she thought he was moving on with her life just like she was.

JJ turned around to see him catching his breath, like he had been running all over the house. The thought of him desperately looking for her made her smile sadly. She had to marry Will so that her life could be simple and decent. So JJ did the decent thing and shook her head no.

The look of devastation that crossed his face was almost heartbreaking. "JJ you can't," he whispered

* * *

**A drop in the ocean, A change in the weather I was praying that you and me might end up together**

**-Ron Pope**

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_**So that was the prologue. I will defiantly post the first chapter tomorrow, but let me know what you guys think**_


	2. Chapter 1 the beginning

_**Okay so here is chapter! officially. **_

_**I don't own Criminal Minds**_

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**It is only at the first encounter that a face makes its full impression on us**

**-Arthur Schopenhauer**

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2000:

Aaron Hotchner tried to draw as little attention to himself as possible as he speed walked his way across the campus of the FBI academy. He was asked to guest lecture a class for students that wanted to become profilers. He had initially turned down the offer, but Haley had convinced him to take the job. She figured that if he spent his time guest lecturing that it would keep him off at least one case, and she was right.

His team was currently in Chicago and he would give anything to be working with them right now. Section chief Strauss had made it very clear that she was not happy about his promotion in the BAU, and his wife was being anything but supportive.

Aaron was in such an agitated state that he did not even realize where he was going until he crashed into somebody. The girl fell and when she hit the ground her books went flying everywhere. "I am so sorry," he said as he helped the blonde girl up.

"Yeah well you should probably look where you're going, but then again I guess I should look where I'm going too," The girl said she she adjusted her denim jacket that had somehow wrapped itself around her when she fell.

"No no you're right. It's mostly my fault," he said. He bent over to help her pick up his books and he chuckled and held up one in particular.

"You like David Rossi's books?" he asked.

"I do," she said confidently. "He actually inspired me to want to join the FBI, to help people."

Aaron smiled at her confidence. It was something he could see would get her far in her career. "Wow, I've never heard that before," he said.

The girl blushed," It's actually kind of embarrassing," she confessed.

"No its not," he disagreed "I worked with him five years. He's great at his job, well he was I mean he retired last year and then he wrote a book," Aaron rambled.

"That's impressive," she admired. Aaron gave her curious glance and she felt her heart flutter a little. "I mean you're young and successful in the FBI if you work with one of the founders of the Behavioral Analysis Unit" she explained.

Aaron found himself smiling for the second time in five minutes, more than he smiled in an entire day recently. He finished picking up the rest of the girl's books and handed them back to her. "I'm Aaron by the way," he said.

"I'm Jennifer, but I prefer JJ," JJ introduced herself.

"Well JJ I was just about to get some coffee would you like to join me?l," Aaron offered.

JJ thought about it for a moment. "Alright."

"I'm only here for the day so I don't know any good coffee places." .

"I actually work at this little cafe and its only a block away from here ," JJ suggested.

"That sounds perfect."

* * *

JJ and Aaron spent hours in the small cafe eating pastries and drinking coffee and talking about all sorts of things. JJ told him how she had just stared her junior year, and was currently at the top of their class. She told him about how she wanted to be a liaison, and that her dream was to one day work for the pentagon.

He told her how he was a federal prosecutor for seven years before becoming a profiler at the BAU. The conversation between the pair was easy, and JJ found herself developing a slight crush on the man.

"So what is a BAU agent doing here at the academy?" JJ asked.

"I'm actually here giving a guest lecture at a class for a friend of mine, he asked me to come in," Aaron explained.

"Well that's exciting," JJ said, but she guessed that Aaron thought differently. "Or not?"

"No I'm flattered that he asked me and I am also more than glad to help him out, it's just," he paused for a moment to collect his thoughts. "I don't like to not be able to help out my team. And my wife kept pushing for me to take the lecture in hopes that it would help me miss a case and she was right." Aaron indicated with his hand.

It was at the mention of his wife that JJ noticed the wedding band on his finger. She suddenly felt stupid for agreeing to go to coffee with him and for not noticing it earlier. "I have to go now," JJ said as she started to stand.

A look of disappointment crossed Aaron's face. "Oh okay. I would like to spend time with you again JJ, if that's okay?"

JJ shook her head," I don't think that's a good idea."

Aaron realized that JJ thought he was suggesting that he was cheating on his wife. "JJ I would never. I just thought it would be nice to have a friend like you in my life. I promise."

JJ did not have many friends in D.C, just her roommate and one other girl on the soccer team. She figured it might be nice to have another. "This goes against my better judgement," she said as she scribbled down her number on a napkin.

Aaron smiled again and picked up the napkin "I'll call you later this week."

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**Be of love a little more careful than anything**

**-E.E Cummings**

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_**So I'm not sure how many chapters I'm going to do before they worked at the BAU. You can let me know if you want to see a lot of those or not.**_


	3. Chapter 2 getting to know you

_**i just wanted to thank you guys for the reviews and follows:)**_

_**I don't own Criminal Minds**_

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**"Each new friend gives rise to the possibility of anything!"**

**-Stephen Richards**

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A few days later, just before his lunch hour, Aaron was studying the phone number that JJ had given him. He certainly wanted to see her again, as friends, he just was not sure how to go about calling her. He wanted to invite her to something friendly without making it sound too date-like. A movie was something that could be friendly if he brought Haley along. Aaron scratched that thought, and decided that Haley would be anything but friendly to JJ.

Since his team was still in Chicago and Haley was having a spa day Aaron decided it would be a friendly thing to invite JJ to lunch so he would not have to spend another day eating alone. He dialed the number let the phone ring a few times before she picked up.

"Hello," JJ said on the other end of the line.

"Hey JJ its Aaron."

"Oh, hi," JJ said brightly.

"Sorry for not calling for a couple of days, work's been busy," Aaron apologized.

"Its fine I can imagine how bust you've been," JJ said understandingly.

"Well I have my lunch break in about half an hour and I was wondering if you wanted to get something to eat?" Aaron asked

"Yeah, sounds good," JJ said.

"What are you in the mood for? Because I'm up for anything."

"I could really go for some Chinese right now," JJ suggested.

"Great I know a place called the Paper Panda. Have you heard of it?" Aaron asked.

"No," JJ responded. Aaron gave her directions and the pair agreed to meet up in forty five minutes.

JJ arrived at the restaurant forty five minutes later and was pleased to see she was not the first to arrive. She always liked to be on time for things and could not stand when people were late, she always felt slightly uncomfortable waiting around for people to arrive.

She walked over to the table by the window where Aaron was sitting. He jumped up and pulled her chair out for her like a gentleman. "Thank you," JJ said admiring his graciousness.

"You look great," Aaron complimented as the waiter came over and took their orders. The pair ordered their food and made small conversation while they waited for it.

"So how has work been?" JJ asked.

"Oh I don't want to bore you with my work stories," Aaron said dismissively.

"I don't find it boring," JJ said.

Aaron was glad to have someone who wanted to hear about his work life. Haley never asked about it, and when he tried to tell her stories she would shut down the conversation saying that she was not interested in the psycho catchers. "Well my team is still in Chicago so I've been catching up on some paperwork and doing some consults."

"Your team travels and does consulting cases?" JJ asked.

"Yeah our liaison determines which cases we travel for and which ones we can do simple consult on," Aaron explained. "That's what you want to do isn't it?" he asked," Be a liaison?"

JJ nodded,"That's the plan."

The waiter then arrived with their food. "God I love Chinese, but I haven't been able to find a decent restaurant yet," JJ said.

Aaron furrowed his brows. "You do realize that this is a city and there's Chinese restaurants everywhere. They're like pizza parlors," he said bemused.

"Well I almost never eat off campus or farther than two blocks from my apartment," JJ explained.

"Well now it all makes sense," Aaron said with a smile.

They ate in comfortable silence before Aaron asked, "So what are your other hobbies?"

"Well I play soccer, I love running, I like to bake, and I'm a huge movie fanatic, especially mysteries." JJ said. "How about you?"

"I also love running and movies, but I also enjoy art, reading, and watching football," Aaron said.

JJ and Aaron continued light conversations as they ate until he had to return to work. "Well thank you for joining me," Aaron said as he hailed a cab.

"It was my pleasure," JJ responded "Thanks for asking me."

"Of course, do you want to split a cab?" Aaron asked.

"Sure," JJ said.

The cab dropped JJ off at her apartment first and she saw he roommate, Sam, sitting on the outside step smoking a cigarette. Her dark hair was pulled into a messy ponytail and a dark sundress hung loosely on her thin frame. JJ waved goodbye to Aaron as the cab drove off.

"Who was that guy?" Sam asked as she let out another puff of smoke.

"That was Aaron. Remember,I told you that I was going to lunch with him?" JJ reminded.

"Oh right," Sam said, "He's the married one."

JJ shot her friend a glare. "Yeah, he is."

"Oh good because you know Mike wants to take you out again," Sam said.

JJ inwardly groaned. Mike was one of Sam's boyfriend's, Billy, friends. JJ loved Sam, but she hated her taste in men. Something about Billy just did not sit right with JJ, but Sam thought that if she set her up with one of his friends that it would automatically make JJ like him. "fat chance," JJ said as she pushed open the door.

Sam threw the rest of her cigarette on the ground and ran after JJ. "Why not?" she asked.

JJ sighed she did not want to say it was because he was friends with Bill because that would hurt Sam's feelings. "See you can't even think of a good reason," Sam said. JJ sighed.

"I bet its because you have a crush on Mr. suit and tie out there JJ, but get real do you think he's going to leave his wife for some college girl?" Sam said softly

"Oh you're one to talk. The reason I don't want to go out with Mike again is because he's your creep boyfriend'd friend," JJ countered.

"I know you don't like Bill, but don't hate someone before you get to know them. I just don't want you to get hurt by this guy Jayje," Sam said compassionately.

JJ appreciated her friend looking out for her, and honestly what was the worst that could happen? "Alright," JJ said. "I'll think about."

* * *

After a long day at the office Aaron pulled into the driveway of his home. He was not surprised to see the house dark as Haley had said she would be out late with her sister Jessica. He sighed and turned on the lights in his empty house. He threw his sport coat on the couch and went up stairs to shower.

After his shower, Aaron walked downstairs to find Haley sitting at the dining room table with a glass of wine in her hand.

"What's this?" he asked.

"This is how I always see confrontations going on TV," Haley said.

Aaron would have chuckled if it had not been for the angry look on his wife's face. "Confrontations?" he asked.

Haley rolled her eyes and threw a crumpled up napkin at him. He picked it up and smoothed it out to discover it was the napkin JJ had given her number to him on.

"It fell out of your pocket," Haley said, "When I went to go hang up your jacket."

Aaron had completely forgotten that he had put JJ's number there after he called her that afternoon. "This is just a simple misunderstanding," he stated.

"Oh I figured as much," Haley said, "So why don't you go ahead and tell me why you kept some girl named JJ's phone number?"

"Well I met her while I was guest lecturing," Aaron started to explain.

"Oh perfect!" Haley exclaimed "That fixes everything now that I know that my husband's girlfriend is still in college."

"She's not my girlfriend. She just found work in the FBI interesting, so I offered to tell her about it some time and we became friends. That's all," Aaron explained.

"I don't like the idea of you being friends with her Aaron," Haley said.

"Well I don't like any of your guy friends, but I've learned to deal with it," he said. He moved behind his wife and wrapped his arms around her. "You have nothing to worry about," he said as he kissed the top of her head.

* * *

**You can be the moon and still be jealous of all the stars**

**-Gary Allen**

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_**Okay so the next chapter will have a small time jump because I don't want this story to drag out. The next chapter will also expand more into JJ and Hotch's relationship.**_


	4. Chapter 3 new direction

_**Sorry for the long update. Iv'e been busy and I kind of found it hard to put this chapter into words..but anyways here it is.**_

_**I don't own criminal minds**_

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**Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye**

**-H. Jackson Brown Jr.**

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2001:

It was a beautiful Friday afternoon in the late summer, and JJ and Aaron were taking their weekly run together. They had not been running together in a while since JJ was back home in Pennsylvania for the summer. Over the past eight months their friendship had grown, and neither could magine life without the other.

"I'll race you to the parking lot," Aaron suggested, "Loser has to by the winner a drink."

"You're on," JJ said. The pair flew down the last bit of the hiking trail, Aaron was slightly ahead. JJ did not want to lose, and on the last turn before parking lot she cut him off on the inside and pulled ahead. JJ heard Aaron breathing heavily as he struggled to catch up with her. She was glad to see all of her intense soccer practices paying off.

"Not fair!" Aaron shouted as she crossed the finish line into the parking lot.

JJ laughed, "I don't see anything unfair about it. You owe me a drink."

Aaron laughed too. "I'll admit I did think I would beat you, but I am a man of my word. Let's get changed and meet up at Duffner's bar in an hour."

JJ nodded, "Sounds good." Her and Aaron parted ways and she drove back to her apartment. JJ had just gotten back from her summer break in Pennsylvania, and even though she missed her family and friends she was glad to be back in the city and starting her senior year of college.

JJ pulled up to her apartment. Sam was still on her summer break in Seattle, but she was expected to be home the next day. JJ quickly gave the place a quick clean up for her roommate. She quickly got in the shower, changed into dark jeans and a white tank top, and left.

The bar was packed with a Friday night crowd. She saw Aaron sitting in the corner nursing a scotch. He was wearing a black button down shirt, and matching black pants. He looked deep in thought as he watched the scotch turn in his glass. He looked sexy to her in a dark poetic way which did not help the slight crush she had on her taken friend.

She walked over and quickly slid in the stool next to him. "Is this seat taken?' she asked.

"Actually I'm saving it for...Oh hey," He snapped out of his haze.

JJ laughed, "Sorry I'm late. I didn't account for that much traffic."

Aaron shook his head, "It's fine. You look great."

"Thank you. I'll just have a beer," JJ said to the bartender when he walked over to take her order.

"So how was your summer?" Aaron asked her.

"It was great! I missed seeing all of my friends back home," JJ gushed. "How was yours?"

"It wasn't much different than any other season," Aaron said as he finished off the last of his scotch. When the bartender came back over with JJ's beer, he ordered another glass and fries to share. The pair spent the rest of the night into the early hours of the morning drinking, laughing and talking.

"Closing time," The bartender said.

Aaron looked flustered when he saw the time. "Oh alright I guess we'll get going," he slurred. JJ could not help but giggle.

"Not so fast," the bartender said as he caught Aaron's hand. "I can't let either of you drive home. I called you a cab." He took both of their keys. "You can come back for these tomorrow." He saw them both out to the cab.

"Where to?" the cab driver asked.

Aaron turned to JJ, "I could really go for some burgers right now."

"Can you take us to burger king?," JJ slurred to the cab driver. He nodded and began the short drive to the fast food chain.

The pair sat in a corner booth of the empty restaurant. Their cab driver sat a few booths away, he offered to wait with them until they were done eating. JJ watched as Aaron typed something into his phone. Eating had sobered the pair up a little but, but not enough to drive.

"Where to?" the cab driver asked when they were all ready to go. JJ gave him her address, and they quickly drove off.

"I can't believe I let myself get that drunk tonight," Aaron admitted. He chuckled to himself, because it was one of the best times he had in a long time.

"Yeah well, me either," JJ said. "I'm going to have a killer hangover tomorrow." When she looked up she saw Aaron's dark eyes staring down at hers. She did not notice until now how close they were sitting. She could still smell his cologne and before she knew it their lips crashed together. They desperately closed any remaining distance between themselves.

The cab pulled over in front of JJ's apartment. "Is this the last stop?" the driver asked.

* * *

The pair stumbled through JJ's front door without breaking their embrace. Aaron took off his jacket and threw it onto the nearest chair. "First bedroom on the left," JJ said. She kicked off her heels and Aaron lifted her and carried her to the bedroom.

The next morning JJ laid in bed awake, but pretending to be asleep. She felt so guilty for what she had just done, she slept with a married man. She knew Aaron was awake next to her, she heard him stirring a minute ago. She did now know what to say to him, she didn't want to ruin one of her closest and only friendships in D.C.

She felt the bed move as Aaron got up. He looked over at her to check if she was awake, and she felt him move the blanket to cover her bare shoulders. JJ listened to the sound of him stealthy gathering his clothes that had been tossed into various corners of the room last night. She heard him move around the apartment for a couple of minutes before she heard he apartment door click shut.

For some reason she could not contain the hurt that spread through her body. She just didn't picture him as the type to leave without saying goodbye. JJ guessed that he didn't have anything to day to her. He probably had to get home to his wife and explain where he had been the previous night.

JJ heard the apartment door open again. She thought Aaron had changed his mind and come back to apologize. Well JJ was going to give him a peace of her mind. She threw her the blankets off her, put on an old pair of shorts and t-shirt and stormed out of he room. But all she saw in the living room was her roommate and all of her bags.

"Now JJ please tell me that I did not just see him leaving our apartment," Sam said to her friend.

JJ put her head in her hands, "I know I'm an idiot. We were just drunk last night and it happened."

Sam put a comforting arm around JJ. "You cant see him again," she said.

"Trust me," JJ snorted, "I won't. He didn't even say goodbye, just got up and left when he thought I was sleeping."

"What!" Sam exclaimed, "What an asshole! Let's key his car! Let's tell his wife!"

"Sam calm down," JJ said, "We're not doing any of those things."

"Well what are you going to do?" Sam asked.

"I'm going to make some breakfast," JJ said. She opened the cabinets and fridge only to find that they were empty. She forgot to go food shopping when she got home yesterday. "Or I can just go get us some breakfast?" JJ suggested.

"That's good. I'll wait here," Sam offered.

JJ rolled her eyes at her friend and hurried off to get her purse. It was then that she opened the door and almost crashed right into Aaron.

"JJ, you're up," he said.

"What are you doing here?" JJ asked. She crossed her arms across her chest.

Aaron held up a Dunkin Donuts bag and two coffees. "I figured you might be hungry," he said.

It was then that Sam took notice of the visitor. "You have a lot of nerve coming back here," she said defensively.

"Sam can you give us a minute?" JJ asked, giving her a look that encouraged her to leave the room.

"Fine, but room is just down the hall," Sam said as she shot one last dirty look at Aaron.

Aaron ignored the tension in the room. "I wasn't sure what you wanted, but I figured a bacon, egg and cheese sandwich would be safe bet. I also got you a black coffee, just how you like it," he said as he handed her the food.

"You know I figured you had just gone home to Haley," JJ stated. She watched Aaron's reaction as he tensed up briefly before relaxing himself.

"Oh"

"Yeah, so where does she think you were last night?" she asked.

"Things with Haley are complicated," Aaron said. JJ gave him a confused look. "We're separated now, and have been all summer," he elaborated.

"What does that mean?" JJ asked.

"It means that for finical and legal reasons we're still legally married, but she's free to go and date other people," Aaron explained. "I'm free to date other people," he added.

JJ felt slightly relieved and happy that Aaron was single. She was not sure what to say now that she did not have reason to yell at him. "Oh well because last night..."

"Was amazing," he finished. "JJ, I care about you and I want to take you to dinner tomorrow night, if you'll let me."

JJ could not help the smile that formed across her face. "Of course I'll let you."

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**We all become great explorers during our first few days in a new city or a new love affair**

**-Mignon Mclaughlin**


	5. Chapter 4 the firsts

_**Okay so I really like this chapter because its so fluffy and sweet. Sorry for the long update, but I wanted this one to turn out well and now I'm finally satisfied.**_

_**I don't own Criminal Minds**_

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**Love is like war: easy to begin but hard to stop**

**H.L. Mencken**

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JJ gave herself one final look in the mirror before going to answer the door. She was wearing a little black dress that was fitted, but not tight and black heels to match. It was her and Aaron's first official date, and even though she had known him for a long time she wanted to look perfect. She opened the door to see him wearing a dark shirt and sports coat with dress pants. He had lilacs in his hands and a smile plastered on his face.

"JJ you look beautiful," he said. He handed her the gorgeous flowers.

JJ blushed. "Thank you," she said, "I'll go get some water for these." She opened the door wider to let him while she went to get a vase.

Aaron watched her as she nervously moved around the apartment rambling about how she knew she had a vase around here somewhere. It was amusing to watch because as a profiler it indicated to him that she was probably just as nervous as he was about tonight.

"You're watching me," JJ noted as if reading his mind. "And I have a feeling that means your profiling me."

"Not necessarily," Aaron countered.

She put her hands on her hips, "Well I'm curious. What have you learned about me?"

"I've learned that you have a very disorganized vase storing system," he joked.

JJ laughed, "It seems like your unfortunately right, but I bet there's one in the kitchen for sure and then we can leave. Where are we going by the way?"

"Well there's an old movie festival going on downtown. I figured we could go there and then get some dinner. I know they're your favorite," Aaron said.

JJ smiled that he remembered that. It must have been months since she had mentioned it. "That sounds perfect." She finally pulled a vase out of one of her cabinets, placed the flowers inside, and filled it with water. She put them front and center in the middle of her kitchen table.

"Are you ready to go then?" Aaron asked, offering her his arm.

"Yeah let's go," JJ said as she grabbed his waiting arm.

It was after the dinner and movie that JJ and Aaron were walking around the park. It was a cool September night with a full moon. Aaron could not help but admire the way the light hit JJ's face. He had feelings for her that he had managed to keep repressed for some time now, but now that he and Haley were separated and headed for divorce he saw no point in hiding them any longer. He saw that she looked cold so he took off his jacket and draped it over her shoulders.

JJ was grateful for the gesture. She always saw it as the sign of a true gentleman. She could smell his cologne that lingered on the coat. For her their walk was a comfortable silence. Neither of them had to say anything. They had already spent the entire dinner talking. Instead she thought about how nice it was to be on a date with Aaron Hotchner, to be honest with herself she had feelings for him ever since they had lunch the first day they met. She just didn't think she would ever get the chance to act on them.

"I had a lot of fun tonight," she said.

"I'm glad. I did too," Aaron said. "This was the best first date I've been on."

"Really?" JJ asked.

"Of course," Aaron reassured with a smile "It's a beautiful night with a beautiful girl that I love talking to. What more could I want?"

Nobody had ever told JJ that they loved talking to her, and hearing him say it gave her chills. "I like talking to you too," she said. The next thing she felt was Aaron's hand holding hers.

He expected her to flinch away at first, but she just interlocked her fingers through his and gave him a reassuring smile. He meant every word he said to her. She was beautiful, smart, and just a little bit quirky. To him she was almost too good to be true.

"So you think I have a chance at a second date?" Aaron asked half jokingly.

JJ pretended to give it some thought. "I think your chances are decent," she said with a laugh. Aaron laughed too and put his arm around her as they waked through the rest of the park.

* * *

3 months later:

JJ lounged across the sofa in Aaron's apartment wearing nothing but his oversized t-shirt. It was ten thirty at night and Aaron was finally starting to make them their dinner. It had been over a week since they had seen each other in person had they had spent a lot of time catching up. But the second Aaron heard JJ's stomach growl he decided that food was more important.

"You know it's probably not very safe to be cooking without a shirt on," JJ sarcastically observed. She watched him fill a pot with water and turn on the stove while only wearing a pair of black sweatpants.

Aaron threw her a fake pout "Well maybe if you gave me mine back," he jokingly suggested.

"But then what would I wear?" she asked.

"That's the point," he said with a wink. That earned him a playful swat from JJ. "Besides I'm only cooking pasta, I won't be near the open flame."

"Okaay," JJ said.

After Aaron successfully cooked their meal without burning himself, a fact that he smugly pointed out to JJ, they ate their food in a comfortable silence. Aaron watched her twirl her food around her fork before putting it in her mouth. Something about the scene in front of him made him happy and it was the type of happiness that couldn't really be explained. "I love you," he blurted out.

JJ's eyes widened at his sudden proclamation, and she struggled to quickly finish her chewing. "You do?" she asked.

Aaron pulled her into his embrace and hissed her forehead. . "Yes I do. I really do," he said.

JJ didn't know what to say. She knew that she loved him too, he was still married and eleven years older than she was. She had let him in and now he had a hold on her heart. "I love you too," she finally whispered.

* * *

**Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting tow bodies**

**-Aristotle **


	6. Chapter 5 Haley

_**I don't own Criminal minds**_

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**The fault dear Brutus is not in our stars, but in ourselves**

**-William Shakespeare **

* * *

JJ was helping Sam and her boyfriend, Bill, chop up the vegetables that were to go in their pasta for the night's dinner. JJ and Aaron had just celebrated six months of being together last week and Sam had declared that meant it was time for a double date.

But it couldn't just be a double date to a movie or dinner, instead Sam and Bill wanted everyone to cook together and then eat together as well. JJ loved her best friend, but she knew from the start this was not going to be a good idea. However, Sam convinced her to go through with it anyway and Aaron seemed happy to participate. Until his team got pulled into a meeting and he called to say he was going to be late, something Sam felt the need to point out to JJ every five minutes.

"Jayje isn't this couple cooking night super fun?" Sam asked passive aggressively JJ rolled her eyes _right on time_ she thought to herself.

"Sam leave JJ alone," Bill defended "It's not her fault. Or Aaron's either so you better be nice to him when he gets here."

Sam stuck her tongue out at her boyfriend before dumping the lettuce into a salad bowl.

It was then that there was a knock on the front door. "That's him now," JJ stated.

"Remember be nice," Bill reminded his girlfriend before kissing her forehead.

"It's open," JJ called.

Aaron opened the door looking a little flustered. He was still wearing his work suit and he carried a bottle of wine with him. JJ could tell he had come here in a hurry. "You know you shouldn't just let people into your house without checking to see who they are first," he said.

"Yeah I know," she said kissing him "but I took my chances it was you."

Aaron smiled finally forgetting all of the stress of the day. His team was under a lot of scrutiny lately. They had been called on two cases in one week and each time they had their section chief accompanying them in the field. It didn't leave any time to see JJ and he had only been able to call her twice.

"Well Aaron," Sam said interrupting their moment, "WE just finished dinner so I guess you came just in time."

JJ rolled her eyes as her friend left the room. "Ignore her, she's just a little cranky."

"I'm sorry. Do you think I should apologize before dinner?" he asked

"For what?" JJ asked "You didn't do anything wrong."

"I feel like this was important to her and you and I ruined it," Aaron explained.

" First of all this was not important to me. If you want you can apologize, but she's the one that's ruining it."

Aaron decided that he would wait until after dinner to talk to Sam so that he could think clearly what he was going to say. He knew he had to apologize and offer to make it up to her. It was important to him that he was friends with JJ's friends. He though about all of this while he sat at the dinning room table, serving himself some of the food.

"Aaron, this is great wine," Bill acknowledged.

"Thank you," Aaron said politely, "It's one of my favorites."

JJ squirmed in her chair at the awkward conversation. She could feel the tension in the way her friend was glaring between Aaron and her boyfriend.

Finally, Sam decided to speak up, "So Aaron when do you and your wife plan on getting a divorce?"

Bill chocked on his wine. JJ dropped her fork. She looked over at Aaron, but his face gave nothing away. JJ was about to get mad at her friend, until she realized that she wanted to know the answer.

He had to admit that he was not expecting that question. He couldn't just ignore it, not when everyone at the table was looking at him with expecting eyes. "Well Haley and I are still together for financial reasons right now. Like our house, insurance and assets. Not to mention neither of us have filed. I would myself, but I'm extremely busy and I would have to sit down with her and a lawyer to work that all out," Aaron explained.

Sam gave him a smug smile, like her work was done, and then continued on with eating. JJ felt relieved at her boyfriend's explanation, and decided to relax. Bill decided to once again break the tension by starting a new conversation, and everyone was able to have a fairly pleasant evening, except for Sam who barely said anything else.

It was afterwards when Aaron and Bill had left that JJ and Sam were alone together in the apartment.

"Hey Jayje," Sam said knocking on her friend's door. "Can I come in?"

"Sure," JJ said, "Did you bring your knife so you can stab me in the back again?"

"I get that yo're mad but-," Sam started.

"Your damn right I'm mad," JJ cut her off "God I never thought you would stoop that low."

"But it's a legitimate question," Sam defended, "You two have been together for six months! That should mean he's over her enough to divorce her!"

"Don't you listen? They're still together for finical reasons."

Sam snorted," If you believe that you're actually a moron."

"Get out," JJ said through gritted teeth.

"Look Jayje I'm sorry. I just don't wanna see you get hurt."

"I don't care get out," JJ repeated.

Sam gave her friend one last final look before stepping out of the room and closing the door.

* * *

It was later that same night that Aaron was making his way back to his own apartment for the night. He took the stairs up to the third floor, walked down the long hallway to his door, until something caught his eye. Someone was standing outside of his door, and it looked like they had been waiting there for a while. It wasn't until he got closer that he recognized the person as his estranged wife.

"Haley?" he questioned.

She turned around to face him, and he could tell she had been crying. "I'm glad your here," she said "I almost thought you wouldn't come. I thought I would have to come back tomorrow."

"What are you doing here?" he asked her gently.

Haley took a shaky breath. "I had to come see you," she said.

"Here some in," he offered before unlocking the door. She followed him into the tiny apartment. It felt strange for him to have her here. It was a place entirely different than the life they shared together. Outside of the dark hallway, and in the well lit living room Aaron was able to see just how different Haley looked. She had lost weight, which caused her clothes to be baggier on her. Her hair was no longer pristine and neat, but instead she wore it in a messy ponytail. Her minimal makeup was streaked on her face from when she had been crying.

She kept glancing around nervously, and she would occasionally bring her hand to her lip, things she had never done before. Her eyes fell on the picture of him and JJ. They were standing in front of a Christmas tree, he had his arm draped around JJ's shoulder, while her head rested on his shoulder. Haley's eyes then fell on a sweater JJ had left draped on the couch. Aaron's heart panged at the pained expression on Haley's face when she saw these things.

"Haley?" Aaron asked, "Is there a specific reason you had to see me?"

Haley nodded and wiped away a few tears that were starting to fall again. "I can't live without you," she admitted.

Aaron sighed. He had never thought they would be at this point. The high school him could never have imagined that he would be standing in the middle of a crappy apartment while his love cried over their failed relationship. Where had it all gone? "Haley-," he began to say.

"Aaron," Haley pleaded, "I will do anything. I won't be angry about your job. I won't make you come to pretentious parties with me, and I will go to marriage consoling with you. Just please give us another chance."

"Haley I can't," Aaron said with a pained expression.

"I know," she chocked out. "I know its messy now, but we can get through this. Just please come to consuiling with me. If it doesn't work out then we'll sign divorce papers. No lawyer, no court, because then I'll know that we have done everything we could have to save our marriage." The tears were now freely flowing down Haley's face.

Aaron took in Haley's offer. He couldn't stand to see her cry, and maybe consoling would be best for them to work through their issues. He didn't anticipate that it would work, and when it didn't they would be able to have a smooth divorce.

"Why are you just asking me this now?"

"Because I've tried to move on. I tried to go around pretending that I'm happy, but I'm not. I can't move on until I know for sure that we can't be together," Haley explained

"Alright," he replied. "I'll go with you."

* * *

**If you love two people at the same time, choose the second. Because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second.**

**-Johnny Depp**

* * *

_**So there is going to be one more pre-BAU chapter after this, hopefully I will have that one up in a couple days because I have already started writing it.**_


	7. Chapter 6 The first end

_**Okay so here is the last chapter pre-BAU.**_

_**I don't own criminal minds**_

* * *

**Love is like two people holding a rubber band, we pull, then when one person lets go, its the person who held on that gets hut**

**-unkown**

* * *

"You know," Doctor Hodge said, "I don't say this very often but I think after a few more sessions your marriage will be stronger than ever.

Doctor Hodge was the therapist that Aaron and Haley had been seeing for the past three weeks, once a week. Haley was the one who found him just days after Aaron agreed to accompany her to therapy. He was an older man, who Aaron guessed was in his late 70s, but he was a good listener to Haley. Aaron never did much talking during the sessions, mostly because he didn't think that a marriage needed therapy to work, but he couldn't just walk out and leave Haley in the bad place she was just weeks ago.

"Really?" Haley asked excitedly.

"Oh yes. Most of the time I just say that to couples without genuinely meaning it, but with you two I can see how much you still love each other," Doctor Hodge explained.

Aaron rolled his eyes while Haley gushed over what he had just said. He still cared deeply about Haley, but he was no longer in love with her. In fact he was still seeing JJ, something he had managed to hide from both Haley and Hodge.

"Well if that's all I think our hour is up," Aaron said standing.

Doctor Hodge looked flustered at his patient's attempted abrupt exit "Mr. Hotchner we still have 28 minutes left."

"Aaron where are you going?" Haley asked.

"I'm leaving."

"Why? He just said that he thinks we can make it."

"Haley we're kidding ourselves if we think everything is just going to go back to normal. Once we're together you'll be upset about my job and I'll be upset because I'm making you upset and I don't think I can handle doing that anymore," Aaron said with an apologetic look.

"Well you can't just leave and give up after two and a half sessions," Haley urged.

"I'm not giving up Haley, but I can't be here anymore. I have to go."

Aaron's words brought tears to Haley's eyes. "Will I at least see you next week?"

Aaron sighed unsure of how to answer the question without giving his wife false hope. He also did not want to immediately upset her and cause another obvious nervous breakdown. "I'll try and make it," he said.

The small smile that appeared on Haley's face was enough to satisfy him that he had said the right thing. As he left the office his phone rang. He looked at the caller id and saw that it was JJ. He hadn't told that he had been going to marriage counselling for the obvious reasons.

"Hey," he said into the phone.

"Hey I was wondering if you were busy later," JJ said

"No I have the rest of my day free," Aaron answered.

"Great!" JJ exclaimed "because it's so nice out I wanted to go do something. I have a class in about five minutes, but after that I'm free."

"Like what?" Aaron asked amusingly.

"I don't really know, but something outdoorsy. I also have something important I think we should talk about, it's nothing bad, so don't worry."

He laughed at his girlfriend's exuberance. "Okay well how about I think of something outdoorsy to do while you go to class. We can talk over dinner tonight."

"Alright I'll call you after," JJ said.

"Bye love you," he said.

"Love you too"

* * *

Aaron decided that a perfect thing for he and JJ to do together was to take a hike on some nearby trails and then have a small picnic when they reached the top. In order to surprise her he decided to pick her up after her class. While he was waiting outside of the building he saw that he had two missed calls from Haley, she was probably checking up on him to make certain he would be there next week.

"Hey what are you doing over here?" JJ asked as she approached him.

She gave her boyfriend a sweet kiss on the lips before he answered, "I have a surprise waiting for you. It is perfectly outdoorsy."

"What is it?" she asked.

Aaron laughed, "If I told you it wouldn't be a surprise."

JJ threw him a fake pout before following him to the waiting car. Aaron drove them to hiking trail that was only ten minutes away from campus. "We're taking a hike?" JJ asked for confirmation.

"That's not all," Aaron said as he leaned over to pull a picnic basket out of the back.

"Aaron Hotchner you are such a romantic," JJ said when she saw the picnic he had put together.

"I know," he replied before giving her a kiss.

It only took them half and hour to reach the end of the trail, and to Aaron's liking they arrived just as the sun was about to set. They had held hands and told stories to each other about their days the whole walk up, Aaron of course failed to mention that he had been to see a marriage counselor with Haley. Things with JJ were going well and he felt like she could be his "one". He was not about to jeopardize that with his complicated divorce plan.

"It's so beautiful up here," JJ observed.

Aaron was about to respond when he saw Haley and a few of her friends chatting just a few feet away. When she looked up he knew that she saw him too. Her eyes then turned to JJ and she gave him a furious glare.

"JJ there's something I need to tell you," Aaron said. He wanted her to here that he had seen Haley from him so that he could explain things and she wouldn't jump to conclusions.

Unfortunately, he was interrupted. "Aaron what are you doing up here?" Haley asked. She was now standing behind him and staring directly at JJ.

"I'm just here taking a walk," he responded awkwardly. "Can I actually just talk to you alone for a minute?" he asked before indicating to leave JJ alone. He knew his estranged wife would be brutal towards his girlfriend, and he was going to do everything in his power to protect JJ from Haley's wrath.

"I'm sorry what's your name?" Haley asked JJ.

"I'm Jennifer, but you can call me JJ," JJ said as she politely shook Haley's hand.

"I'm Haley, Aaron's wife," Haley introduced herself. JJ's eyes widened and she shot Aaron a nervous look. He looked just as dumbfounded as she felt. Looking back at Haley, JJ could see the woman was giving her a smirk. "I take it your his mistress," Haley continued.

"Haley!" Aaron warned.

"What?" she asked innocently.

"I'm actually his girlfriend," JJ corrected. "And you two are actually legally separated so that doesn't exactly make me a mistress."

Aaron was impressed at JJ's confidence to defend their relationship. "I think it would be best if you left," he said addressing Haley.

But Haley gave him a look that meant she was not done with whatever scheme she had though of just yet. "Okay," she said, "I'll just see you next week."

"What?" JJ asked, confused.

"At our marriage consoling," Haley clarified, "We've been going for about three weeks now."

JJ turned to look to Aaron so he could tell her it wasn't true, but his face confirmed it was. The look of hurt on her face broke his heart. She left crushed that he had gone back to his wife after they had been together for eight months, not to mention that he didn't tell her about it.

"Are you serious?" JJ asked. Aaron could tell that she had passed hurt into anger now. "You have been getting back together with your wife for three weeks now, and you didn't think I would find out about it? You've just been stringing me along."

"JJ I can explain ev-"

"Don't." JJ cut him off. "I think we're done here."

"JJ please," Aaron begged.

"You know I thought that we meant something to you. I almost turned down a job offer in New York because I thought we could be together, yeah that's what I though we should discuss, but now I'm gonna take it."

"JJ don't go. I love you and you mean so much to me. If you would let me explain-"

"You don't have to explain Aaron," JJ said, "As much as you say you love me, you love Haley more. It couldn't be clearer"

"JJ," Aaron said looking defeated.

"I just never want to see you again," JJ said before she turned and walked back down the trail

* * *

**That old saying, how you always hurt the ones you love, well it works both ways**

**-Chuck Palahniuk**


	8. Chapter 7 BAU

_**This is one of my favorite chapters that I've written so far. I feel like it will become more interesting to write now that they are working at the BAU together. Please give feedback and let me know what you think.:)**_

_**I don't own criminal minds**_

* * *

**The pain of parting is nothing to the joy of meeting again**

**-Charles Dickens**

* * *

2004:

Jennifer Jareau nervously smoothed her skirt once more while she waited. She was waiting outside of Section Chief Erin Strauss's office at Quantico. Her superior in New York never told her why she was mysteriously transferred to Virginia, but she had a feeling it had to do with the bombing that killed six agents four months ago. Strauss's team was still under a lot of media scrutiny, and JJ's job was to deal with the media.

It had been over two years since she had last been in Virgnia, but JJ pushed the unpleasant thought out of her mind as it entered. She would not think about him right now, not right before one of the most important potential moments on her career. Even though the last she heard he worked in this very building.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the stoic section chief. "Agent Jareau," woman called. She came out of her office in a whirlwind until she finally spotted JJ. "I'm sorry for making you wait," the older woman apologized.

"It's no problem," JJ said as she shook her hand.

"Come on now I'll introduce you to your team," Strauss said as she hurriedly started making her way down the hallway.

JJ half jogged to keep up with the older agent "So you're not going to interview me?" she asked.

"That's not necessary," Strauss quipped "I've seen your performance in New York and I must say I'm impressed. This team needs someone like you, what with all the media backlash, Gideon's breakdown, and now they've put Hotchner in charge."

JJ stopped listening at the mention of the name Hotchner. It was then that she saw the nameplate of the office door they were walking to, and sure enough the words Aaron Hotchner were printed neatly across it. JJ could feel the panic rise within her. Not only was she having a run in with him, but they were going to work together, he was going to be her boss!

"He isn't aware that I've hired you as the communications liaison," Strauss continued oblivious to the younger agent's sudden nervous demeanor. "Perhaps your presence will even throw him off his game a little," Strauss said with a little bit of wicked smile, JJ guessed that the woman did not like Aaron very much. _You have no_ _idea_ JJ thought to herself as Strauss knocked on the door.

"Come in," Aaron called as he finished scribbling his signature on another stack of paperwork. He wasn't surprised to see that it was Strauss who was the knocker, but he was surprised to see who was standing next to her.

It was JJ. She looked the same as when he had last seen her more than two years ago, but she had an unsure look in her eyes. She didn't want to see him. Last he heard from her she took a job in the New York field office, but whenever his team was there she wasn't. Almost like fate, or somebody else, had planned it that way.

JJ looked at the man who was staring at her with an awestruck look in his eye. The first thing her eyes flicked to was his ring finger, and she saw he was wearing a wedding band which confirmed what she had already thought, He had gone back to Haley. He did not look much older, but something about him told JJ that he had aged greatly in the time she had been away.

"Agent Hotchner I would like you to meet Agent Jareau. She is the BAU's new communications liaison," Strauss introduced.

A look of surprise and confusion passed over Aaron's face, much to Strauss liking. JJ tried to hide behind the older woman until she could find a way to get out of this promotion. She knew they had already hired somebody to replace her in New York. So it looked to her like she was stuck.

"I'll leave you two to get acquainted, and you can show Agent Jareau to her office when you're finished," Strauss said before quickly leaving the office.

They both stood there for a couple of seconds in awkward silence. Aaron looked at JJ, and JJ looked around the room. Even though they had dated for almost a year she had never been in Aaron's office. There was nothing really special about it, but that small fact made her heart ache a little.

"So how have you been?" Aaron asked breaking the awkward silence.

"I've been great," JJ hesitatingly answered. "How about yourself?"

"I've been fine," He answered while staring at her. It was almost like he couldn't believe she was there.

"So how about you just show me to my office?" JJ suggested coldly.

He sighed, "Jayje wait-"

"Don't call me that," she cut across him. "Just tell me what my job is and then take me to my office."

Aaron pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation. If she was going to play it coldly he could be just as cold. "Okay well you're job is to handle the media coverage of the cases we work. You will help me organize press conferences and pick which cases we will fly out to solve. When Gideon comes back in a couple months you will also need to keep the press at bay. Right now my team is only me, you, and Agent Morgan who I will introduce you to later," Aaron briefed her.

JJ nodded indicating that she had retained all the information he had just fired at her.

"I'll show you to your office," he said as he threw the door to his own office open and stormed out. JJ had to once again jog to keep up, as he sped walked through the bullpen, down a small hallway and opened a door. "Here it is," he said, "Make yourself at home."

JJ stepped into the small office and looked around at the empty walls and the empty desk. "Thank you," she whispered, but when she turned around Aaron was already gone.

* * *

It wasn't until a few hours later that JJ heard a timid knock on her door.

"Come in," she said. It felt strange to her to have her own office that she now called people into. She was surprised to see that the timid knocker was in fact Aaron. He walked in and gently shut the door behind him.

"May I sit," he asked indicating towards the only other chair in the office besides her own.

JJ nodded, "Sure."

Aaron sat down and took a deep breath before he spoke. "I wanted to talk you about everything. I know that this job is a huge promotion for you, and I know I'm the last person you want to see, but I also know that if we let it be awkward or hostile then the job will be much harder. JJ we had a great friendship before everything that happened and I hope that one day we can go back to that. But if we can't maybe we can come to get along with each-other on good terms as co-workers."

JJ sat there and considered everything he had just said. She admitted that he had a point, it had been two years and she had dated other people in that time. She could feel his eyes on her waiting for a response. "You're right," she said. "We don't have to make this awkward."

"Great," he said as he stood. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow then. Goodnight JJ."

"Goodnight Aaron," she replied.

"Oh one more thing," he said.

"What?" she asked.

"Everyone calls me Hotch."

"Hotch?"

"Yeah it's easier than Hotchner, and we don't really use first names," he explained.

"Oh okay," she said, "Well goodnight Hotch."

* * *

The next morning JJ was fifteen minutes late. She hated lateness, but she didn't think the line at the coffee shop would be so long. She hoped that no one would notice, and she could just discretely slip into her office. No such luck, because when she pushed open the doors to the bullpen she almost collided right into Aaron and Strauss.

"Agent Jareau you are aware that our work day starts and nine o'clock," Strauss said as she gave JJ a scrutinizing look.

"That's my fault," Aaron piped up. "I told her she could come in at nine thirty today, and it looks like she's about fifteen minutes early," he lied.

Strauss shot Aaron a look of disdain before giving JJ her look of approval. "Well I expect those files on my desk by the end of the day today," she said to him before walking off.

"Thank you," JJ whispered for fear that Strauss would somehow overhear.

"Don't worry about it," he laughed "She already hates me. I couldn't have her hating you too. Besides, I know how much you like to be on time so figured you must have a good reason for being late."

It was JJ's turn to laugh at his assessment of her, which of course was spot on. "Not really, I waited in line for twenty minutes for a crappy cup of coffee."

"You do know we have coffee makers here right," he said as he pointed to the break room.

JJ inwardly groaned at her stupidity.

"I'm making myself a cup now if you want some."

"That would be great."

Aaron led JJ over to the small break room, pulling two mugs out of the cabinets and filling them with the coffee. He put two sugars in JJ's and just settled for cream in his own.

"Thank you," JJ said as she appreciatively took the steaming mug, just the way she liked it. "I better go to my office and finish all of the organizing I have to do."

"Alright," Aaron said giving her a small smile as she left.

"Who's that?" Morgan asked, approaching from behind from behind him.

"That's JJ," Aaron said "She's our new communications liaison." He felt a bubble of jealousy and anger rise in him at Morgan's lingering gaze. "And she's completely off limits to you," he added with a glare.

Hotch sighed when he returned to his office to find his wife waiting for him. "I saw you talking to her," she said coldly.

He knew that she was talking about JJ. "That's funny Haley," he sarcastically bit "You would think I wouldn't talk to my co-workers at all."

"Well I want to talk to her," Haley demanded "Make sure that she knows we have a baby on the way and not to try any funny business."

Aaron gave his wife a serious glare. "You will do nothing of the sort."

"Too bad Aaron! This is our marriage on the line yet again!" she exclaimed before storming out his office.

JJ could hear a commotion happening in the bullpen . Curiosity got the best of her and she abandoned her paperwork to see what was going on. What she saw was Haley Hotchner storming around the bullpen with her husband following close behind trying to diffuse the situation. It wasn't until Haley locked eyes with JJ and started straight for the liaison that she realized she was the situation.

"Hello JJ," Haley said with an eerie calm.

"Um hi Haley," JJ replied awkwardly.

"I just wanted to let you know that Aaron and I are expecting a baby. And maybe you'll think of that if you try and steal him away from me again," Haley said.

JJ had to bite down the anger that threatened to overcome her. "I promise you I have no intention of sleeping with your husband," JJ said.

Haley didn't look satisfied with the younger blonde's answer, but she allowed herself to be escorted to elevator by her husband who was giving JJ and apologetic look.

* * *

**Each friend represents a world in us, a world not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born**

**-Anais Nin **


	9. Chapter 8 Plain Sight

_**So this episode is centered around 1X04 Plain Sight. Thank you so much for all of the feedback I received last chapter. I really appreciate it. I wrote a lot of different scenes for this chapter and then combined them together, so you guys can let me know if you like that or not if you want :)**_

_**I don't own criminal minds**_

* * *

**The hear will break, but broken live on**

**-Lord Byron**

* * *

2005:

JJ was about to put the last of the consults for the team on Strauss's desk when she realized that she had forgotten to get Hotch to sign them. With an exasperated sigh she turned around and headed for the unit chief's office. All she had to do was get through this last hour before the team went on a three day stand down. To celebrate Gideon and Hotch thought it would be fun to have a birthday party for Reid.

She knocked twice on his office door and entered before he answered. It was an unspoken rule that she never needed his permission to be in his office. Even though it had been initially awkward after a few weeks both JJ and Hotch had developed a professional freindship. Another unspoken rule was that they never talk about the past. Never.

"Hey I got all the way to Strauss's office before I realized that I still needed you to sign these," she said handing him the case files. He quickly signed off on them before handing them back to her with a nod of appreciation. "Thanks," she said before she turned to leave.

"JJ wait," Hotch said. "I got stuck with cake duty and I was wondering if you wanted to come with me?"

"Of course," JJ said smiling at his invitation.

"The bakery Garcia chose is half an hour away. I figured it would be a better drive with a friend there," he explained.

"Let me just go get my purse," she replied.

"You know," Hotch said as they were driving back from the bakery, "Your birthday's only in a month."

JJ was taken aback that he still remembered that. "Yeah it is," she said giving him a smile.

"I'll have to tell Garcia so she can start planning your party," he joked.

"Oh god please, I don't like when people make a big deal out of my birthday," JJ flushed.

"I know. But you at least have to let us get you a dark chocolate cake." JJ was surprised that he remembered it was her favorite and before she knew she was being pulled into the memory of her twenty second birthday.

_"Aaron I thought I told you not to make a big deal out of it," JJ said when she looked at his small apartment that had been turned into a magical oasis. White Christmas lights lined the walls and hung from the ceiling, while the floor was covered in rose petals leading up to a dinner table set for two. _

_"I know," he said as he watched his girlfriend's awe-filled eyes wander over the room. "But I was away during your actual birthday, not to mention I've missed two date nights. I wanted to do something special for now and some of the future things I miss. I also had some help from Sam, so I can't take all of the credit."_

_"Thank you," JJ whispered before pulling him into a kiss._

"Are you okay?" Hotch asked, pulling her out of her thoughts. The concerned look in his eye made her wonder if she had accidentally said something out loud.

"Yeah I'm fine," she answered as she pushed the distant memory far from her mind. She remembered the times when all she could see in his eyes were love, but now he was hard to read. He had become more closed off.

"Okay," he said warily, again interrupting her thoughts. "Well we're here." JJ then noticed that they were in fact in the parking lot of Quantico.

"Right," she nodded. Hotch could see her face starting to flush with embarrassment before she quickly leaped from the car and rushed into the building. She left him wondering what he could have possibly said to upset her.

* * *

"Make a wish!" Elle exclaimed.

Reid took several deep breaths as he struggled to blow out the candles. "Come on blow baby blow," Morgan chuckled.

"I thought you were full of hot air Reid," Elle teased.

JJ felt bad as he continued to try and blow out the candles. "They're trick candles Spence. They're going to come back on every time," she explained.

"Aw mommy to the rescue," Morgan teased pulling on Reid's hat.

"Mommy?" Reid questioned.

Meanwhile Hotch stood in the back with Gideon observing the scene in front of him. JJ was acting perfectly normal after the slight episode in the car, so he decided to just chalk it up to stress. She had been working hard for the past few weeks.

"Isn't it amazing that he knows what he knows and he's only twenty four?," he mused as Morgan and Elle continued to banter Reid.

Gideon gave a small smile at the comment, "Imagine what he'll know when he's fifty." Then the phone rang and Anderson called Hotch away from the scene.

He sighed as he listened to the latest case. They were supposed to be on stand-down, there was no way they couldn't take it, six women were already dead. "Sorry guys," he apologized "Party's over. JJ I need to see you in my office."

* * *

"Well you're right," JJ said as she looked over the case files. "We defiantly need to be on this case."

"I know," Hotch replied, "But I do feel bad that we had to stop Reid's party."

"I don't think Spence will mind," she retorted.

"I want you with us on this one," he said. "If you can handle it."

"You think I can't handle coming with you guys on a case?" JJ asked.

Hotch could tell her had offended her. "That's not what I meant. It's just that you seemed stressed earlier in the car. I understand that this job takes a lot out of you."

JJ didn't want to tell him that she had been thinking about their previous personal relationship so she just decided to go with his assumption. "Oh that wasn't about work. I was just stressed about my mom coming to down," she lied.

Hotch raised his eyebrows in understanding. He had only met Sandy Jareau once, but in his experience she tended to be critical which put JJ in a bad mood. "I understand," he said.

JJ nodded, knowing he would "Let's go present the case."

* * *

"Hey Hotch," Gideon said as he sat down across from the unit chief. The team had already reviewed the case when they'd boarded the jet. Now each person was off sitting by themselves.

"Yes?" Hotch said looking up from his case file.

"What do you think of JJ and Reid?" Gideon asked.

Hotch gave the older profiler a skeptical look before answering, "I think they're both spectacular agents."

"No I mean, I think Reid likes JJ in that way" Gideon explained.

Hotch searched the jet with his eyes and sure enough found Reid and JJ sitting in the far corner engaged in a conversation. Obviously he had no right to feel jealous, but he didn't like the idea of knowing JJ was with someone else. Besides, based on her body language it was obvious she had no attraction to him. "I don't think she feels the same way," he answered quickly, shifting uncomfortably in his seat.

"Really?" Gideon asked. This time it was his turn to be skeptical. "But she calls him Spence."

"So?" Hotch asked, remembering the nickname.

"So nothing," Gideon said leaning back in his chair, Hotch knew that meant he was coming to his own conclusions.

"Jason I really need to focus." He knew he was being rude, but he really didn't feel like having Gideon profiling him at this moment.

"Okay," Gideon said, but as he left he gave Hotch a quick wink.

* * *

JJ sighed and plopped down in the back corner of the jet. She liked when she was able to be on cases with the team, the only downside was that it created a lot more work. She groaned when she saw Hotch approaching her with an apologetic look, and about a dozen new case files.

"I'm sorry," he said as he handed her half the stack. "But I'll go over them with you. If we're lucky we can have them done before we land."

"God I hope so," she answered as they each began their respective piles.

JJ was so zeroed in on finishing her last file that she didn't even notice Reid as he awkwardly approached the pair. He seemed to be reassuring himself as he sat next to the blonde agent.

"So I uh I hear you're a fan of football," he stuttered, pulling her out of her thoughts. JJ looked up to see that they now had the whole team's attention. She just smiled and nodded as a response. She was uncomfortable having all of the eyes on her.

"Great," Reid continued, "Because I have these uh tickets to the red skins and I was uh wondering if you wanted to go?"

"Of course Spence."

"Well look at that, pretty boy's got himself a date," Morgan teased causing JJ blush. Hotch had enough of the situation in front of him and decided to go talk to the man he knew was responsible for it.

"Isn't it sweet," Gideon said as Hotch sat down across from him. "I figured it would give him a confidence boost, and who knows? Maybe something can come out of it."

"I guess," Hotch replied dryly.

"It could be good for JJ too."

"What do you mean?" Hotch asked.

"Something happened between you and her," Gideon stated simply. he held up his hand when Hotch tried to speak. "I don't know what it was, and I don't care, but I don't think it's been easy for her to see you every single day and Haley with the baby. Maybe going out with someone will help both of you move on."

"How do you know she hasn't?" Hotch asked. JJ was beyond beautiful and smart, he was sure she could find any guy she wanted.

"I already asked Garcia. She hasn't," Gideon replied.

Hotch nodded, surprised at the revelation."For the record it's not like that anymore. We're both content with being co-workers and friends. I'd like to think we have a mutual respect for each-other."

"I'm not saying you two don't work well together, because everyone here knows you do. I'm just reminding her that there are other fish in the sea, and reminding you that you have a wife at home who's almost eight months pregnant."

"I know," Hotch said, "and I have never been more in love with her." He meant it. They had been in a good place before JJ had joined the team, and as glad as he was to have her back in his life. He maybe had to re-draw the lines of boss and friend again. She was no longer his to be jealous over. Maybe Gideon was right, he had to come to terms with it.

* * *

"I've never been in the VIP box before," JJ said. She was awestruck at the amazing view she had on the game.

"I've never been to a football game before,' Reid retorted.

JJ grimaced. She could tell. During the first half of the game JJ had to try and let herself fall too into the game for her date's sake. It was fairly obvious to her that he had read a few books on football, but still failed to watch a single game. From the looks of it, the genius was feeling a little overwhelmed. "Reid are you really having fun?" she asked.

"Of course," Reid said, "I love spending time with you."

JJ smiled at his genuine sweetness. "So you wouldn't rather be doing anything else besides watching football?"

"Don't worry I think I have the hang of this now," he replied. He sat there for a few moments just staring down at his hands.

"Spence?" JJ said when she saw something was wrong.

"I bet you wish you were here with someone who liked football as much as you," he said.

"Oh no this is-"

"It's okay," he cut her off, "The truth is I would rather be seeing the original Solaris in Russian. I now that's something you wouldn't want to do."

"So are you breaking up with me before the date's even over?" JJ joked. Truth be told she couldn't see herself ending up with Reid, they were just too different.

"No I'm not saying that it's just-"

"It's okay Spence," JJ said cutting him off this time. "You deserve to be with someone who will sit through a four hour Russian movie with you and enjoy it."

"It's actually five hours long," Reid corrected.

JJ laughed. "See, but of course we can still be just as good friends. Now you even know how to ask a girl like that out too." She ruffled his hair.

"Thanks JJ. For what it's worth you're going to meet someone who likes to do the same things as you."

* * *

**One makes mistakes: that is life. But it is never a mistake to have loved.**

**-Romian Rolland**


	10. Chapter 9 Sam and Jack

**_Sorry for the long update. I've been super busy. I hope you guys like the chapter._**

**_I don't own criminal minds_**

* * *

**Remember**** that the most valuable antiques are dear old friends**

**-H. Jackson Brown Jr.**

* * *

JJ tried not to get annoyed as she looked down at her watch for the second time. She had been waiting at the cafe for fifteen minutes of her hour long lunch break. In another ten she would just have to order and start eating.

"Calm down Jayje I'm right here," she heard a voice from behind her say. "I could tell you were getting impatient by the glaring at your watch."

JJ didn't even recognize the woman in front of her. Sam's once long dark hair had been cut into a bob. She was still thin, but now she had a more healthy build to her. To top it all off she was wearing a black pantsuit, something the old Sam would have made fun of.

"Oh my god you look completely different," JJ blurted. She pulled her old friend into a hug.

"Well you haven't changed since I'd seen you last," Sam replied.

"How long's it been?" JJ asked.

"Well I haven't been to New York in about a year and a half, and you never came to D.C to visit," Sam said.

"I'm sorry about that," JJ apologized. "I was crazy busy with work."

"I hear you're even busier now; working at the FBI and all," Sam noted with a coy smile.

"Yeah, how did you hear about that?" The blonde wondered.

"I have my connections now working for a senator. I like to keep tabs on my old friends."

"Ah," JJ nodded. The waitress came and took both of their orders. JJ was even more surprised that the once Vegan ordered an omelet.

"So tell me anything else new?" Sam asked. "Seeing any guys?"

"No," JJ shook her head. "How about you and Bill?"

Sam made a face. "I don't know Jayje. He's been talking about marriage and stuff, but I think I might want more."

JJ was confused. "More than what?"

Her friend shrugged. "Maybe more than marrying the guy I loved in college."

"If that's how you feel," JJ started to say. She couldn't relate the only guy she loved in college was married now. In fact he just had a baby, and to top it all off he was her boss. "Aaron's my boss now!" JJ blurted.

"What?" Sam's mouth hung open as the waitress came with their lunches.

"And I don't know how I feel about it because we're friends again, but sometimes I still feel like I love him, and sometimes I think he loves me. He went back to Haley and they just had a baby and that's about it," JJ took a deep breath after she finished telling the tail.

"That son of a bitch," Sam swore. "I can't believe he weaseled his way back into your life. Do you want me to go talk to him. Better yet Bill's gained about twenty pounds of muscle."

"No," JJ said stopping her friend. "Like I said we're friends now, and it's good most of the time, but there's these moments where I see him and it hurts because it makes me wonder if he ever loved me."

Sam's expression softened. "Oh Jayje I'm sure he did. Maybe he still does, but the point is that you're Jennifer Jareau and you've dated lots of guys since him. You don't need him and you have to show him that."

"I know," JJ nodded "I don't even know where that came from I guess I just had it bottled in for so long."

"It's okay," Sam comforted as she reached across the table to hold her hand.

"You're right," JJ said. "I'm being stupid. It's called the past for the reason. It was a stupid mistake I made when I was young and it's not something that has to keep affecting me."

"Yes!" Sam exclaimed, happy that her friend had snapped out of her momentary depression. "I think to celebrate we should go out, get wasted, and find you a super hot guy to hook up with."

JJ shook her head. "I'll pass on that one, but thank you for meeting up with me for lunch."

"Anytime Jayje."

* * *

JJ stealthy moved off the elevator, across the bullpen, and into her office. She was proud of herself for not letting Hotch, Gideon, or even worse Strauss see her come back from her lunch break twenty minutes late. She was so busy celebrating her win that she didn't even see the man standing in the corner of her office.

"JJ," Hotch said. JJ jumped and screamed when she heard her boss's voice.

He gave her a look of concern as he placed a comforting hand on her back "I'm sorry I didn't mean to scare you."

JJ laughed nervously as she moved away from his touch. "It's okay. What can I do for you?"

"Well I was concerned when I couldn't find you fifteen minutes ago," Hotch said sternly. "It's not like you to be late."

"Um yeah I'm sorry," she apologized. "I was actually at lunch with Sam. She didn't know why she told him that. He probably wouldn't remember her old college roommate. He probably didn't remember anything about that year.

But he did. He remembered everything about their time together. Sometimes he even allowed himself to think about it, but mostly he though about the what ifs? "Oh really how is she?" he asked.

JJ couldn't decide if she was more surprised that he continued on with the topic or that he seemed genuine. "Um she's great," she answered. "It's been a couple years since I've seen her. You probably wouldn't recognize her now, because I didn't even recognize her." it was the first time they had ever talked about their shared past, but it didn't feel awkward. It felt sort of nice.

Hotch smiled, "It's good to here she's doing good. Now I need you to help me decide where we're going next."

"Alright," JJ said as she followed him to his office. She plopped down in her designated chair across from his and reached for the case files. As she was reaching something caught her eye.

"Is this Jack?' she asked She picked up the picture of the tiny infant in Hotch's arms. The sight made her heart melt. Hotch was beaming with pride as he gently held his son.

"Yeah," Hotch said, wearing the same proud smile as the picture. "God it's so scary to think that I'm responsible for this little tiny person. I mean he's half me." He gazed lovingly at the picture in JJ's hand.

"You're going to be a great father," she said.

"Thank you. I'm going to try." Hotch picked up his first case file. "This one," he said.

"Oh okay," JJ replied startled. "Do you want me to read it?"

"Yes, but we're taking it anyway. People are being poised with LSD. Call the team. You're coming with us."

* * *

JJ ran her fingers through her hair. "Fuck," she swore. Gideon had given her one job, to make sure nothing was leaked to the press and yet the news was running a story. She decided to tell Hotch, hoping he would be more understanding than Gidoen. She timidly approached the Unit Chief shaking her head. "We got a leak."

Hotch's eyes widened. "Alright show me the tape."

The team sat with the local police offers as JJ played the tape from the evening News.

"Name the restaurant," Gideon kept repeating. He was referring to the restaurant JJ had visited with Hotch earlier that day. It was the source of the LSD poisoning. The news concluded with the anchor saying she would not name the name of the restaurant, and JJ resisted the urge to curse at what was coming next. She felt Hotch and Gideon's sudden anxiety as they began giving orders to the local police.

JJ rushed over to the phone to warn the hospital that there was about to be a swarm of patients arriving any minute. Just like that the station was filled with the sound of 911 calls coming in.

JJ was with Reid at the hospital while she watched the panic. The ER was flooded with people claiming that they had been poised, but so far only one case seemed legit. She was calling Hotch now to catch him up to speed.

"JJ," he answered on the first ring.

"Reid and I are at the hospital. Most of these cases just seem psychosomatic except for one woman who's barley breathing."

"Alright keep me posted if there's anymore similar cases," he responded.

"Hotch I'm sorry," JJ apologized.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. This wasn't your fault."

"If I had done my jo-"

"You have nothing to be sorry for," he stated firmly. "Keep me posted," he said before hanging up.

"Okay then," she said to herself before joining Reid.

* * *

Hotch was in the back of the jet stirring his tea while he read a report that Reid had recommended to him. He expected it to be rather boring, but he promised the young genius he would read it anyway. He was glad he did, because he found himself completely engrossed in it. Looking up, Hotch saw that everyone on the jet was now asleep besides JJ. He made his way over to her while he continued to read.

She looked stressed as she read a case file. "You're not asleep," he stated.

She sighed, "Just finishing my report."

He could tell she was tired, but he sat down across from her anyway. "Everything okay?" he asked.

She shook her head, "There's always another file. This next one's pretty bad."

"Yeah," he whispered. He knew the job was draining, and he hated seeing it drain her. To her credit she had still remained the same, except she was tired more, she had seen the worst humanity had to offer.

"Of all the departments, why did you choose the BAU?" she asked.

Hotch looked over to her and smiled. The look on her face told him it was something she had been curious about for a while. He briefly wondered if maybe cases like this made her regret joining the team. "You know I had prosecuted dozens of murder cases and by the time they reached my desk it always felt like it was too late. I wanted to stop them before they got to my desk."

He had never told anybody that before. That he was bothered by the fact that he couldn't save the people who he defended in the court room. When Haley had asked why he stopped being a lawyer he never gave her a straight answer. "That doesn't really answer your question."

"No it doesn't," JJ chuckled slightly.

"I guess I'm still trying to figure it out," he admitted.

They looked at each other for a few seconds before JJ broke the silence. "I guess I'm gonna try and get some sleep. He smiled at her as she wrapped herself in a blanket.

He gazed out the window as he thought about JJ's question. What made him want to join the BAU? What made him want to do anything he had done before? then he started thinking about the what ifs. What if he had chased after JJ that day? What if she had never been transferred to the BAU? He wasn't sure how long he sat there staring out the window, but when he looked over to JJ she was sound asleep.

He moved quietly so as not to wake her. He gently moved the blanket to cover her whole body, and before he could stop himself he placed a small kiss on her forehead.

* * *

**Our story has three parts: a beginning, a middle, and an end. And although this is the way stories unfold I can't believe ours didn't go on forever. **

**-Dear John**


End file.
